Its usually smooth but yesterday was rough, i came home and several things had happened on the homefront, my current immediate family and my first immediate family had issues rampant. For this blog i state the first as thats what its about. My daughter is showing signs of wearing the patch apparently, my wife tells me that the effects of wearing it are getting to her. My sister is great at comning up with the multiple ideas, but she is strict, which is good in my opinion, i know that its going to be orugh but she needs to realize (and i hope she will when she is older) that its for her own good. We might seem like bad guys now but her eye is more important.
I dont think we are ruining her childhood, its a 6 week run before we go back for a check in, but the worst case scenario merrits the means by which we can make her better. I dont want her to suffer in the future with a damaged eye, and the improvements seem to be showing even more now. The distance she can read is greater, she can read smaller, she can see more things and that gives me so much hope that you wouldnt believe.
We talked about maybe telling my sister to be nicer,but at the same time, we know our daughter is a little manipulative and can exagerate her story sometimes to get her way, but at the same time, if this is going to be for a longer haul, what happens after 6 weeks when my sister cant do it, or if she can she cant do it for another year either, we know we have to figure out alternative options, and i feel my sister is great at that where me and my wife are not.
Its tough, to say the least, but we gotta keep going.
Wednesday, May 25, 2011
Sunday, May 8, 2011
Lets Pick Up The Glasses and Lay the News to the Fam
So today was not only Mothers Day but it would be the first day my daughter would have her glasses. We woke up that morning and i made my wife breakfast in bed as i took care of the girls and made them breakfast. Mothers day was a little overlooked as we had more important matters to deal with.
A side note: Mothers day has been unusually unlucky for my wife, she has had our second daughters birth the day before mothers day on on year, we had a medical emergency on another, and now this issue overshadows mothers day as a whole. I usually try something later on and i hope she sees that we still love her and show her the appreciation on all the other days we can.
We waited until our pickup time at Noon and left to go get the glasses. It wasn't as bad drive as the day before and wasn't as emotional as the day before either. So with our hearts strong, we went in and had or daughter try on her glasses. It was a great moment in my eyes,all i could think of was what had just opened up for her, in my head she just realized how wide her field of vision was, how much more she was actually able to see. The next step was easy..Get some ice cream to celebrate her getting her glasses.
Afterwards we set out on a two par trip to my mothers house, we would give my wife a break on mothers day and give my mom the gift she always wants which is to have her granddaughters visit her. Also i would relay the news of what needed to be done as far as the training with the eye and simply ask for my families help. I knew we would not be able to do this and keep our jobs, our sanity and our ability to be parents without the help from my family.
My father had been in Dominican Republic and i was trying to relay the news to him via the phone but it kept cutting off, and at the worse parts of the story which made it a bit humorous afterwards realizing that all he heard as my daughter would be losing her eye. I figured i would wait till i got to my mothers house and get a solid connection.
When i got to my mothers house i greeted her and my sisters. It was time for a sit down and time to break the news in person. I let them know what we needed to do and said it straight out that i would need all the help i could get.
My sister did not even hesitate to jump, she said she would spend the time needed with her during the week, i almost cried, this would be the second day in a row i would be brought to tears, but i held it in. I had no words o tell her thank you. I still don't and i probably never will, some day ill figure it out, but for now, just Thank you "Sorella", thank you from the bottom of my heart, I love you.
I called my wife after to tell her the news about my sister offering help. She started to cry on the phone and then i lost it, i couldn't hold it anymore and i started crying again, i had to let it out, it was just all piling up and this was just the dam releasing after all the pressure build up. Needless to say it was the thought of maybe things would be OK after this.
A side note: Mothers day has been unusually unlucky for my wife, she has had our second daughters birth the day before mothers day on on year, we had a medical emergency on another, and now this issue overshadows mothers day as a whole. I usually try something later on and i hope she sees that we still love her and show her the appreciation on all the other days we can.
We waited until our pickup time at Noon and left to go get the glasses. It wasn't as bad drive as the day before and wasn't as emotional as the day before either. So with our hearts strong, we went in and had or daughter try on her glasses. It was a great moment in my eyes,all i could think of was what had just opened up for her, in my head she just realized how wide her field of vision was, how much more she was actually able to see. The next step was easy..Get some ice cream to celebrate her getting her glasses.
Afterwards we set out on a two par trip to my mothers house, we would give my wife a break on mothers day and give my mom the gift she always wants which is to have her granddaughters visit her. Also i would relay the news of what needed to be done as far as the training with the eye and simply ask for my families help. I knew we would not be able to do this and keep our jobs, our sanity and our ability to be parents without the help from my family.
My father had been in Dominican Republic and i was trying to relay the news to him via the phone but it kept cutting off, and at the worse parts of the story which made it a bit humorous afterwards realizing that all he heard as my daughter would be losing her eye. I figured i would wait till i got to my mothers house and get a solid connection.
When i got to my mothers house i greeted her and my sisters. It was time for a sit down and time to break the news in person. I let them know what we needed to do and said it straight out that i would need all the help i could get.
My sister did not even hesitate to jump, she said she would spend the time needed with her during the week, i almost cried, this would be the second day in a row i would be brought to tears, but i held it in. I had no words o tell her thank you. I still don't and i probably never will, some day ill figure it out, but for now, just Thank you "Sorella", thank you from the bottom of my heart, I love you.
I called my wife after to tell her the news about my sister offering help. She started to cry on the phone and then i lost it, i couldn't hold it anymore and i started crying again, i had to let it out, it was just all piling up and this was just the dam releasing after all the pressure build up. Needless to say it was the thought of maybe things would be OK after this.
Saturday, May 7, 2011
Second Opinion
Today was day 2 of the new realization, i did not know what to expect. That would soon be revealed to me. We did not want to change our daughters Saturday routine so ballet was continued on as normal, my wife continued to do research and look up doctors for the second opinion.
I was with my daughter and kept thinking that I could not see anything wrong with her, her eyes looked fine to me, her head was not tilted as i have learned now is one of the signs, she could see things clearly in my opinion and i did not or could not imagine what would have caused this.
Ballet went off fine and i just kept looking at my daughter and seeing everything fine. We did our walk home and I had spoken to my wife a little earlier regarding a second doctor who she had found. A specialist in the city who would see our daughter today. So we walked home and enjoyed the walk back very slowly. We even watched some high schoolers practice softball.
Needless to say when got home we had half an hour to get to the appointment. I misunderstood the time she said or I was enjoying the walk with my girl. It was important and very reflective for me to think about what we would be dealing with and how we would cope with it. I just let my thoughts get the best of me and was no t thinking straight.
We sped to the doctors office and made it in the nick of time, literally like within a minute. I let my wife and daughter out and drove to the garage with my other daughter napping to park the car. Grabbed my daughter and went to the office.
Went i walked in, it was a strange feeling that ran over me, wasn't bad or good, just different. Didnt know what to think. My wife had already been there and was set up in the exam room with my oldest. They had started doing some exams, and from the looks of things, the look on my wifes face was so much more relieved from the day before.
This doctor right off the bat was showing his differences. The guy was Stew Leonards to the C Town guy i went to before, the 1969 ford mustang boss 428 mustang to the honda civic. The doctor was doing as many tests as he could, and took almost an hour with testing and explanation and just steam rolled over this guy as to what needed to be done. He was great with the kids as you could see, he had kid themed testing devices and was giving out the information to us that was clear and concise compared to the other doctors advice. He stated what we needed to do, he said she wouldn't lose her eye and at worse case scenario she would need glasses all her life. This was a major difference compared to her eye falling out.
SHe had Amblyopia but it was still within curing range. We would have to do exercises with her for 4 hours a day, with a patch over her good eye to make the other guy work, basically making the lazy guy catch up and pick up the slack that the good eye had been carrying all this time. It was a major relief and we were THRILLED to hear the great news. He gave us a regimine and glasses prescription and we proceeded to go pick put her glasses. It was a major step in doing what needed to be done. We would discuss the time and scheduling later we said, we would have to deal with that together. Right now we would go pick out glasses, thats the first step.
I was with my daughter and kept thinking that I could not see anything wrong with her, her eyes looked fine to me, her head was not tilted as i have learned now is one of the signs, she could see things clearly in my opinion and i did not or could not imagine what would have caused this.
Ballet went off fine and i just kept looking at my daughter and seeing everything fine. We did our walk home and I had spoken to my wife a little earlier regarding a second doctor who she had found. A specialist in the city who would see our daughter today. So we walked home and enjoyed the walk back very slowly. We even watched some high schoolers practice softball.
Needless to say when got home we had half an hour to get to the appointment. I misunderstood the time she said or I was enjoying the walk with my girl. It was important and very reflective for me to think about what we would be dealing with and how we would cope with it. I just let my thoughts get the best of me and was no t thinking straight.
We sped to the doctors office and made it in the nick of time, literally like within a minute. I let my wife and daughter out and drove to the garage with my other daughter napping to park the car. Grabbed my daughter and went to the office.
Went i walked in, it was a strange feeling that ran over me, wasn't bad or good, just different. Didnt know what to think. My wife had already been there and was set up in the exam room with my oldest. They had started doing some exams, and from the looks of things, the look on my wifes face was so much more relieved from the day before.
This doctor right off the bat was showing his differences. The guy was Stew Leonards to the C Town guy i went to before, the 1969 ford mustang boss 428 mustang to the honda civic. The doctor was doing as many tests as he could, and took almost an hour with testing and explanation and just steam rolled over this guy as to what needed to be done. He was great with the kids as you could see, he had kid themed testing devices and was giving out the information to us that was clear and concise compared to the other doctors advice. He stated what we needed to do, he said she wouldn't lose her eye and at worse case scenario she would need glasses all her life. This was a major difference compared to her eye falling out.
SHe had Amblyopia but it was still within curing range. We would have to do exercises with her for 4 hours a day, with a patch over her good eye to make the other guy work, basically making the lazy guy catch up and pick up the slack that the good eye had been carrying all this time. It was a major relief and we were THRILLED to hear the great news. He gave us a regimine and glasses prescription and we proceeded to go pick put her glasses. It was a major step in doing what needed to be done. We would discuss the time and scheduling later we said, we would have to deal with that together. Right now we would go pick out glasses, thats the first step.
Glasses
We had figured to get the glasses on Sunday, but after sitting at home calculating (the next day was mothers day and we were figuring out when we would be doing the exercises, we were trying a few things at home real fast and quickly realized that it was not going to be easy dealing with 4 hours of patching and retraining the eye that needed the help. We also wanted to start her off properly and knew we should get the training started without them.
We hopped online and checked for Lens Crafters near us. Found one close by and headed to it stat. This was the part i was not expecting. I had held my own throughout the day and the whole ordeal. She went in and very happily picked out glasses. I was on the other side of the place and when she came running to show me i didnt know what happened. I just broke down and had to leave, i held my own long enough to tell her that they looked great but that was it, after that i lost it. I walked out of the store so she wouldn't see me crying.
The thoughts that rushed through me were many, bullying, name calling, treated differently, never seeing 20/20, glasses breaking, crying because of having my glasses broken, literally just not seeing, and knowing what it was like. As i write this it fucking kills me because i know what she will have to endure, and i wont be able to do anything about it, just hopefully show her how o get through it. Show her that kids will be kids and that she is still MY FUCKING HEART!!!!! AND THATS ALL THAT MATTERS!!!!
We hopped online and checked for Lens Crafters near us. Found one close by and headed to it stat. This was the part i was not expecting. I had held my own throughout the day and the whole ordeal. She went in and very happily picked out glasses. I was on the other side of the place and when she came running to show me i didnt know what happened. I just broke down and had to leave, i held my own long enough to tell her that they looked great but that was it, after that i lost it. I walked out of the store so she wouldn't see me crying.
The thoughts that rushed through me were many, bullying, name calling, treated differently, never seeing 20/20, glasses breaking, crying because of having my glasses broken, literally just not seeing, and knowing what it was like. As i write this it fucking kills me because i know what she will have to endure, and i wont be able to do anything about it, just hopefully show her how o get through it. Show her that kids will be kids and that she is still MY FUCKING HEART!!!!! AND THATS ALL THAT MATTERS!!!!
Friday, May 6, 2011
Amblyopia
My daughter was diagnosed with Amblyopia, yeah, WTF is that is the first thing that came to mind. My wife began to explain to me what it meant and what the effects were. Needless to say it was a shock, like getting smacked in the face or punched in the stomach and not expecting it. The wind literally got knocked out of me, and i had no words, that lasted for about a minute or two. Then i realized that i had to stay focused and look towards the future.
"Whats the next step"
Thats what popped in my head, needless to say the initial prognosis was a joke to say the least. The physician basically labeled her at most a worst case scenario where she would probably lose her eye in the future and need it replaced with a glass eye. We didnt doubt that she had a problem with her eye as it was clearly evident once it was pointed out to us, but to suggest that the eye would be lost in the near future and that there was nothing to do about it but suck it up and put on some glasses was not the way you tell a pair of parents.
My wife took the prescription and left "No, I am not getting glasses from here, thank you very much!!!"
That first night was very solemn or more just down on your luck feeling, i kept my composure even just sitting there for her not doing much, she was rolling in the research, she was doing what she does best, educating herself on the facts. I did not want to interfere, i helped her with what she needed, i could tell it was affecting her more than it was me, and i would see it more the next day. She looked up so much information as she could find. She looked up second opinion doctors (always a recommendation with the severity of the situation) and we had more information for the next day when we would call up the offices for an appointment.
That night we went to bed realizing what the task at hand for the next day was. We knew that it wasnt going to be easy, but that something needed to get done. The next day was going to be a new hurdle none the less.
"Whats the next step"
Thats what popped in my head, needless to say the initial prognosis was a joke to say the least. The physician basically labeled her at most a worst case scenario where she would probably lose her eye in the future and need it replaced with a glass eye. We didnt doubt that she had a problem with her eye as it was clearly evident once it was pointed out to us, but to suggest that the eye would be lost in the near future and that there was nothing to do about it but suck it up and put on some glasses was not the way you tell a pair of parents.
My wife took the prescription and left "No, I am not getting glasses from here, thank you very much!!!"
That first night was very solemn or more just down on your luck feeling, i kept my composure even just sitting there for her not doing much, she was rolling in the research, she was doing what she does best, educating herself on the facts. I did not want to interfere, i helped her with what she needed, i could tell it was affecting her more than it was me, and i would see it more the next day. She looked up so much information as she could find. She looked up second opinion doctors (always a recommendation with the severity of the situation) and we had more information for the next day when we would call up the offices for an appointment.
That night we went to bed realizing what the task at hand for the next day was. We knew that it wasnt going to be easy, but that something needed to get done. The next day was going to be a new hurdle none the less.
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